UPDATE MARCH 20TH 2014: Ok, wanna see a WAAAAAAAAAAAY better rendition of the minific below?
Go and click this FimFiction link! A DATE WITH MY ASSISTANT by NEIZD
This here is quite a good writer who enjoys Twispike as much as us, probably more! So Make sure to check his stuff
at his fimfiction account! You won't regret it!
Or you know, can look at his dA account:
Thank ya, my friend! Hope this won't be the last time!
"Gosh Twilight, I'm so sorry your date went out so badly..."
"Ugh, don't remind me of that. I'm done with dating already."
"Oh, come on you can't be serious!"
"Yep, I'm going to put "dating" at the very bottom of my "What-to-do-with-my-life" list."
"It was THAT bad, huh..."
Twilight gave him all of the details. Spike kept hearing and nodding at every situation. With the ocational laugh and groan. Even some teeth grinding as well.
"Yep, knowing you it was that bad of an experience that may keep you from dating like...forever. Ha!"
"Yep, it looks that way..."
"Well, let me see...not being able to chat with him due to his...very limited general knowledge. You are veeeery chatty when it comes to history, science...blah blah blah...you're a bookworm. At least someone should keep up with your massive brain...."
"I don't know if I should feel insulted or flattered...."
"And his jokes were so tasteless and overall bad....mistake number two... Every mare has a sense of humor...even you!"
"I don't have a sense of humor, Spike. Even Pinkie has a hard time to make me laugh..."
"That's because what makes you laugh doesn't makes everypony laugh too. It's there....veeeeery deep inside, but I have seen it."
"And come on...he was ashamed when he saw you dance?"
"But you LOVE to dance! You do it terribly, but it should be fun! You are not showing up!"
"Yes, but what's the point if everypony will make fun of me and...whoever is with me?"
"The point is...that there is no point! YOU'RE the point! HE is the point! It's like....synergy!....like Harmony itself if you get me."
"Yes! Let me show you! Get out for like...fifteen minutes and I'll show you what a real date should be!"
"Er...what would you know about dating?...."
"Duh...I llive in a library, and my comprehension levels have come trough a very very thoughtful upbringing...now OUT!"
"What. Is. This?"
Decoration, candles, a table for two, music and other artifacts were thoughtfully placed in the library's main chamber.
"Miss, if you please..."
Twilight chuckled at the rhyme.
"Told you, you laugh at bad puns."
She kept giggling. He got her.
"Now...here is.." Spike brought a pair of sandwiches...Twilight didn't buy that it took him fifteen minutes to prepare it all...
"A sunflower sandwich, mildly broiled with some egg, mashed potatos, soy gravy, no crust at an acceptable temperature for a proper digestion..."
Spike said, imitating a chef. Twilight watered...
"This is only the appetizer, so save some room for the main dish and the dessert!"
Surely enough, one hour later, spot-on, she found herself bursting out of laughter out of a comical review of one book.
"Seriously, that book was so badly written that you simpy cannot read it with a straight face!"
"Hahaha! I thought the very same thing! I mean...vamponies that are vegans? That's a total failiure!"
"Worst of all, it was written to be taken seriously...so that makes it even...funnier! Hahahaha!"
"I was about to send a very angry letter to that writer demanding the return of the few hours it took me to figure out the plot..."
"That writer took the balls out of vamponies..."
"Now, the appetizer, main dish...the dessert...are you done with it?"
"My, you are behind schedule! The date was timed to last for five hours and there are at least four more activities left!"
"I'll finish it quickly!"
"All right...time to..."
Spike stood up and walked to the record player.
"...work off the food"
"I can't...I can't do it."
"The Twilight I know is the most awkward and dorky I ever knew. Also the smartest, and willing to take challenges that nopony else would take."
"The one who saved Equestria twice, the element of Magic, Princess Celestia's student, and a princess herself is afraid of shaking it now?"
"Come now. Dance with me. There is nopony else here...and besides...it's your favourite beat!"
"You can't possibly now my...."
*song plays in background*
"Are you kidding me? You sing it in the shower, you hum it at every chance, you play it almost five times an hour...heck you even singed it as my lullaby! You know what else? It's my favourite, too!"
They stood up and danced the most terrible dance they could ever manage to make.
At the end, a bit exhausted, they were sitting at the table again, the candles were almost out, and Spike was cleaning everything.
"Spike...this may sound weird, but this is the best date I ever had."
"You may get better ones than this."
"Yes you will. You want to know why? Because, as thoughtful and fancy this date was...I cheated."
"I know you too well. I know what you like, I know what makes you laugh, what makes you cringe, what disturbs you, what you hate, what you look forward too...For starters, your time is always precious. The very notion of having wasted your time in something that was uncertain from the start and fruitless in the end frustrates you...isn't it?"
"You love order. Heck, even your potty training probably came with a flow chart attached."
Twilight bursted out laughing "That was mean and icky...but yes."
"You like long conversations about interesting subjects. Or even casual ones...mostly involving our friends..."
"And mostly, you are allergic to rye."
"True...all of it is true."
"Good. Now I can check "Personal conversation" off the list. Now for the last activity...."
"I know you may cheated a little because you know the best and the worst of me...and I know yours too...but really...this means a lot to me. I wouldn't be too comfortable knowing that this was only...an experiment."
"You got everything right."
"What do you mean?"
"I have learned from others the source of some flaws in relationships."
"Oh, Dr. Love, brief me out."Twilight sarcastically said.
"Well, starting when they treat relationships as an experiment instead of a goal."
"You. You are the goal. You are the point. Not experimenting with a filly, but winning the heart of a mare. A sensational mare."
"And afterwards...that's where experimentation can happen...After all, it should be a safe experimentation environment, right?"
Twilight couldn't hold any longer. "Well, how about if we...put our labcoats on?"
"It's alright...as far as I can see it, we both have gone past the "Goal" level..."
As she leaned and gave him a deep kiss, she finally said...
"...you can check that off the list now..."
OOC Spike FTW!